It all sounds great in your head, but then when you try to turn into a reality you fall short. You’ve run through the scenario time and time again and are sure that this time will be different. You sit at the bar, and you see her—that has got to be the one, or at least the one for right now! You swallow hard as your palms start to sweat, and just as you get the courage to get up from your bar stool, you see another guy moving in on what could have been your territory. Sound familiar? If you have trouble figuring out how to talk to girls, you’re not alone! This can be a very difficult initial step in the dating scenario, but it’s one that you need to master if you hope to move on in the process.

Get Some Confidence or It Will Never Work

If you think that girls are attracted to your shy and meek demeanor, think again! There is not a girl out there that digs you because you’re a wallflower or too chicken to approach her. A girl wants to know that when you come to talk to her, you have something to stand behind it. They want to see the confidence within you, and if that doesn’t come across right away then it’s an immediate turn-off. Try to watch how girls are at home under spy cams and what they do! If you can’t muster the self-confidence that it takes to go talk to that hot girl and make her realize why you are worthy of her time, then you may as well sit there on that bar stool alone. Confidence is what seals the deal and what you should always base your initial approach on!

Have an Opener and Some Truly Interesting Things to Say

Okay so you may be confident, but if you say a bunch of stupid stuff then she’ll be rolling her eyes as soon as you’ve said hello. Along with the confidence, you better find some truly interesting things to say beyond «hey, how you doing?». Have a good solid opener and learn to master the art of making conversation. This is the skill that can really get you through a lot of situations in life, and which can really help you to effectively talk to girls. Talk about current events, the environment you are in, or something that will reach her so that she continues to be interested in carrying on a conversation with you.

Be Genuine Because Fake is Obvious

If you’re staring at her chest the whole time she’s talking, you can pretty much kiss your chances goodbye. If you use some cheesy cliché saying or pick up line, you can be confident that you will not walk away with a phone number. You want to look her in the eyes, smile, and show that you are truly and genuinely interested in talking to her. Does this mean that you’re interested in marrying her? No, not a man on earth thinks that way! It just means that you are interested in what she has to say, and that you want to pursue a next step with her. If you can find a way to be yourself and show her that you’re different from the other schmucks out there, then you have a fighting chance of seeing where things go. The key to talking to girls is to be confident, have interesting things to say, and of course show her that you actually care about talking to her.